Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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