I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
