I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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