Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Too much gin, very little bucket
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
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