Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Alive.
So much puke
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
