just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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