The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
