oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You are a genius and a whore.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
