is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
