i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
