I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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