imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
