420 ftw
I need to stop coming to work sober
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
