Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
