I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
