I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
