got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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