Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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