it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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