Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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