so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
