Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
