hell yes lets make some ravioli
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
