Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
