I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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