I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
