What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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