It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
