Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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