I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
