I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
