just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
