"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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