she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize