honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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