chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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