I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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