he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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