u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
