All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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