i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
