The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
