she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
