isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
