I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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