Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
