She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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