just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Well I just put wine in my tea
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
