So drunk its hurt
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
you never un-have a 4some
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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