fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
