Plan B is the new Plan A
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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