mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
