Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
