You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Randomize
