Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
