Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize