It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
