i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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