I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
