There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
