What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize