I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
