can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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