So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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