There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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