Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I had to cum in my sink.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
