Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
why is half of my head shaved?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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