So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize