Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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