I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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