Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
People in love make me want to vomit
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
