His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Randomize
