just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
