We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
should my penis look like a turkey
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
