Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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