I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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