i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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