I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
